When I was 18, I got pregnant with my daughter Chassidi.  When I was 19, I gave birth to her.  When I was 20, I got married.  When I was 21, I got a divorce.  Yes, I know that this period of time in my life was crazy.  I literally felt like I was walking blind in a forest and kept walking into the same tree over and over again.  In a way, I guess you could say I was.  I wasn’t seeing very clearly, therefore making me visually impaired and I kept running into the same “tree” (problems) over and over again.

            Days before my husband and I separated, we went to church.  After talking it over we decided the church was out of their minds.  Needless to say, things didn’t get any better for us, we divorced.  Thus began a very hard time in my life. 

            I turned to all the wrong people for friendships.  I drank all the wrong drinks; smoked cigarettes like it was going out of style (by the way, it really is out of style now; you should quit if you smoke and be like rest of us cool people).  I went dancing any time I got a chance.  Overall, I just led a very wild type of lifestyle.  But I reached a turning point in my life where it was either sit in the pit or just start crawling out.  I sat there for a bit and felt sorry for myself, till the Pastor of that church—you know, the one that had all people who were out of their minds—invited me to come back and visit.  Of course, being me, I didn’t go right away.  It took a few times of him inviting me until one day I realized things weren’t going to get any better on their own, I needed help.

            I walked in on a Sunday evening service and when I entered, I felt a presence that I had never felt before.  I would go as far as to say that it was the most incredible feeling I had ever felt.  I came back the next Wednesday for service and got baptized in Jesus name.  When I came up, I felt as if I was walking on a cloud; it was better than any high I had ever had.  I went home and slept better than I had in a very long time.  Probably the last time I slept that good was when I was a child.

            I got a Bible study on receiving the baptism of the Holy Ghost.  I thought that’s crazy; there is no way I’m going to get the Holy Ghost.  I can’t even speak Spanish.  I thought, it sounds wonderful but I don’t know if I could get it.  The next Sunday I went to church and the preacher preached on the Holy Ghost.  It was great; the whole service I cried.  God was all over me.  All I kept thinking is that I want this Holy Ghost more than anything.  At the end of the service, a girl took my hand and led me to the front and told me all I need to do is praise God and as soon as I opened my mouth, I received the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in other tongues.  It was a life altering experience, and I believe whole heartedly it was meant to be.

            I am by no means perfect; but I desire to be as close as I can be to a perfect God.  I now seek holiness in everything that I do: in my attitude, actions, the way I present myself, the words that come out of my mouth and the way I act when all the doors are closed and there is no one to see me.  I used to drink alcohol but now drink freely from the fountain of living water.  I used to smoke, and now instead of “smoking,” I am on fire.  I have the fire of the Holy Ghost burning inside of me and it is consuming me like a wild fire raging out of control.  I must confess, I still go dancing, but now I dance before the Lord.  I dance for Him, praise Him and worship Him because He is worthy of my everything. 

            No matter what happens in my life, I will praise Him for who He is.  He has put my marriage back together; that is awesome to me because that in itself is a miracle.  We are truly blessed.  I have a hard time believing that I am the same person I was before God saved me from this world and a very uncomfortable eternity.  My relationship with God is not about the miracles or blessings, but I love Him and want to serve Him to the best of my ability.  The best feeling in the world is when He wraps His arms around me and just hugs me like only He can.  He has turned me into someone I never thought I could be and I appreciate Him so much.  When you get a true revelation of who He is and get a real relationship with Him, your life will be forever changed.